Welcome to the Differentiation of Self quiz.  These are questions concerning your thoughts and feeling about yourself and relationships with others.  Please read each statement carefully and decide how much the statement is generally true of you on a 1 (not at all) to 6 (very) scale.  If you believe that an item does not pertain to you (e.g. you are not currently married or in a committed relationship, or one or both of your parents are deceased), please answer the item according to your best guess about what your thoughts and feelings would be in that situation.  Be sure to answer every item, and try to be as honest and accurate as possible in your responses.

People have remarked that I'm overly emotional.

I have difficulty expressing my feelings to people I care for.

I often feel inhibited around my family.

I tend to remain pretty calm even under stress.

I'm likely to smooth over or settle conflicts between two people whom I care about.

When someone close to me disappoints me, I withdraw from him or her for a time.

No matter what happens in my life, I know that I'll never lose my sense of who I am.

I tend to distance myself when people get too close to me.

It has been said (or could be said)  of me that I am still very attached to my parent(s).

I wish that I weren't so emotional.

I usually do not change my behavior simply to please another person.

My spouse or partner could not tolerate it if I were to express to him or her my true feelings about some things.

Whenever there is a problem in my relationship, I'm anxious to get it settled right away.

At times my feelings get the best of me and I have trouble thinking clearly.

When I'm having an argument with someone, I can separate my thoughts about the issues from my feelings about the person.

I'm often uncomfortable when people get too close to me.

It's important for me to keep in touch with my parents regularly.

At times, I feel as if I'm riding an emotional roller coaster.

There's no point in getting upset about things I cannot change.

I'm concerned about losing my independence in intimate relationships.

I'm overly sensitive to criticism.

When my spouse or partner is away for too long, I feel like I am missing a part of me.

I'm fairly self-accepting.

I'm often feel that my spouse or partner wants too much from me.

I try to live up to my parents' expectations.

If I have had an argument with my spouse or partner, I tend to think about it all day.

I am able to say no to others even when I feel pressured by them.

When one of my relationships becomes very intense, I feel the urge to run away from it.

Arguments with my parent(s) or sibling(s) can still make me feel awful.

If someone is upset with me, I can't seem to let it go easily.

I'm less concerned that others approve of me than I am about doing what I think is right.

I would never consider turning to any of my family members for emotional support.

I find myself thinking a lot about my relationship with my spouse or partner.

I'm very sensitive to being hurt by others.

My self-esteem really depends on how others think of me.

When I'm with my spouse or partner, I often feel smothered.

I worry about people close to me getting sick, hurt, or upset.

I often wonder about the kind of impression I create.

When things go wrong, talking about them usually makes it worse.

I feel things more intensely than others do.

I usually do what I believe is right regardless of what others say.

Our relationship might be better if my spouse or partner would give me the space I need.

I tend to feel pretty stable under stress.